I believe that there must be an IBS requirement that there be a flat-screen plasma or LCD TV monitor every 5 feet. Entertainment is a large part of the show, and comes in many varieties. For some, operating a nail gun is pretty entertaining. Or you could enter the Stanley (www.stanleytools.com) National Nail Driving Championship. While I was there two guys tried to beat the so-far winning time of .36 seconds. I can’t even think about a nail that fast. One guy did a .76, the other flailed away for a 3-point-who-cares? He was very frustrated looking because he knew, and I believed him, that he could nail better than that.

Entertainment celebrity also sells and choppers must sell pretty well. For example, the Orange County Chopper guy, the boss, I think, with the beefy white mustache and biceps, was going to be in the BlueLinx distributors’ (www.bluelinxco.com) booth later signing autographs. You could have your picture taken while sitting on the BlueLinx chopper that the OCC shop built. I heard a rep tell a young lady that she could climb on, “just don’t turn the steering wheel.” The Milwaukee Electric Tool (www.milwaukeetool.com) exhibit featured a big picture of the West Coast Choppers guy, with his arms full of tatoos.

At the Waltzing Waters (www.waltzingwaters.com) area, people were sitting on benches in a darkened grotto with color-lit fountain spurts of water dancing—excuse me, waltzing—to the tune of an Elvis love song. One couple was absolutely mesmerized, and I bet I could go back at 5 pm and they would still be there. Definitely a calm oasis on the floor.

But the most show-bizish exhibitor I saw had to be what I call Cirque du Kohler (www.kohler.com). They have a huge area that felt like you were inside a cushy, black velvet jewelry box. Gorgeous lighting struck plumbing fixtures and such that looked positively beautiful. Then a woman took the stage, a big stage raised about 5 feet. Music played, spotlights swam around the lady as she introduced a model, who walked out as if on a Paris fashion show runway. There was some tie in to a new line of showerheads or something (I was too flummoxed to take notes).

The model was soon gone, and the MC was talking about the upcoming lineup of celebrity appearances. But first, she introduced another act (nope, forgot their name too). Suddenly, the music became seductive, the stage lighting dimmed to red glows, and out came three buff guys carrying 10-foot poles and wearing briefs. Sure, they were theatrical costumes, but they were really black briefs. I saw the faces of several women in the audience light up. These guys started doing what can best be described as a ballet of poles. They’d swing around the pole planted on the stage floor, flip the poles around in impeccable timing, and generally made you think you were in Cirque du Soleil show.

I made my way out the back through a black curtain and was jarred out of the Kohler experience by looking up and seeing the unfinished wood of the Weyerhauser (www.weyerhauser.com) house. I felt like I had been flung back to Kansas from Oz.